Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes right to the bone
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.
All my life I wanted to be someone. I guess I should have been more specific.
All men can fly, but sadly, only in one direction - down.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
A sine curve goes off to infinity, or at least to the end of the blackboard.
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.
A sentence is something you should never put a preposition at the end of.
A neat desk is the sign of a sick mind.
A neat desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
Always try to make other people happy, even if you have to leave them alone to do it
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
A dog is a dog unless he is facing you. Then he is Mr. Dog.
A device that will cut your fuel bills in half - scissors
A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A chicken is an egg's way of making another egg
Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
